Closure

Earlier this week I wrote about “What to do with unanswered emails/calls” and asked my peeps for their input. I got quite a number of “forget his a$$”, as well as some great advice but the one that topped it all was “Sometimes you just don’t get closure from the other person”. This was the best advice I’ve received this year and definitely on my top list. All of my relationships have had closure; some were good while others not so good, some I initiated and others I was the recipient.

This “thing” (just can’t call it a relationship because it wasn’t) was very persistent in keeping me in his life. Even went so far as to say, I want your friendship in my life and of course I was idiot and believed him. I hid my feelings just so that I can hang around him. Whenever he needed me, I would make time out of my busy schedule to console him and give him advice. I tricked myself to believe this was just a friendship, when in fact my heart was on a very different page.

And now it’s been one year, I’ve been out of the country for months now and have thought about which friendships matter to me. He was on top of my list. After countless emails and a voicemail, I have now come to realize that he has moved on. What I did to deserve this, I am still unclear. But whatever it was, no one deserves the silent treatment. And so I’m FINALLY taking the advice some friends have voiced from the beginning (yes KG, u were one of them) and cutting him out of my life.

Closure would have been ideal because it would mean friendship is a possibility (after x months of course) in the future. But as I went through my aim/gmail settings and created filters where I would never see a letter from him, I have come to terms that this “thing” has no future. My biggest fear was that I would run into him in some random street in NYC (because Karma works that way for me), but now that I’m preparing to leave the US (to a country far-far away) on a 1yr contract, my fears have begun to diminish. Yes I’m still going to NYC for a quick visit in June and yes I’ll be staying in the same area (the Bronx) and yes we’ll probably end up at the same bar, but my fears are gone.

This topic has its irony because this guy I’m dating in Mexico is also going through a breakup and I’m here giving him advice to cut him out. I tell him, friendship will come but you need time apart from him. If only I could follow my own advice.