1 week left in Mexico City

I can’t believe how time has flown. So much has happened in the short time I was in Mexico, approx 5 weeks that I don’t know where to begin. I got to Mexico City and in just 2 days I was a part of history. While the swine flu did bring fear/uncertainty into my life, it also brought fame. Who would have thought that I would be broadcast all over the world, on one of the most reputable channels (CNN). Another few days pass by and I experience my first earthquake! I seriously thought about returning back home where it was “safe”, but I strongly believe on the cause I came to work on (fight against homophobia) and decided to stay.

For the next 2 weeks I began reporting for CNN and learned a lot about what get’s placed on TV, internet and what doesn’t make the cut. Once the city lifted its sanctions, the city came alive like no other and I finally got to enjoy the nightlife I heard so much about. On my first Saturday, I went out with a new friend I met online (nonsexual for those freaky friends I have reading this-LOL). It was here that I met this guy who danced with such passion and when our eyes met, his smile made my heart stop. We ended up hanging out the rest of the night and he immediately said he can’t commit because he just got out of a relationship. I, of course, am quite use to these type of response and just said cool we can be friends (broken record- I KNOW!). His name is Erik.

A few days later I headed out to Oaxaca, Mexico where the campaign against homophobia was underway. But on my bus ride there, I got a call from Erik and he wanted to see if we could get coffee. My heart just melted because he asked me as if it was a date and I told him I would call him when I get back to D.F. During the 5 days I was at Oaxaca, I literally had a nonstop party/work schedule. Wake up early in the morning to help out with the campaign and at about 11pm we shifted to bars/clubs/drinking fest. I was in heaven but I knew I was dragging my body into exhaustion. I made a lot of friends while I was in Oaxaca and I was very sad to go. People here had no attitude, unlike the folks in D.F.

Once I got back to D.F. I immediately sent a text to Eric and we decided to head out for coffee that Thursday. We ended up grabbing coffee and walking alongside Paseo de Reforma, during one of Mexico City’s most beautiful nights, clear skies/light breeze and we kissed for most of the night. He drove me back home and I was left in cloud 9. For the past 2 weeks, we’ve spent as much time together and we told ourselves we would not mix feelings because we both knew this would end June 6. A few days ago, we both agreed that while we did not want it, feelings are now involved. I keep avoiding June 6 and just keep living and loving every minute I have with him. He makes me smile and brings joy into my heart.

With regards to everything else, I already told the nonprofit that my last day is next Monday and I am feeling sad (again!). I met a lot of cool people here and it kind of sucks that it has to end but I am getting use to it (first with Mercer folks, then Promundo and now Demysex). It’s not my favorite part of the last few months but it's become a part of life.

I’m taking the next week off from volunteering and exploring the part of Mexico City that was shut down thanks to swine flu. And I will use my downtime to mentally prepare myself for my next journey (details will soon come out! I'm not officially announcing it until I obtain my work-visa).

The past few months that I have been living outside of the good ole USofA has brought me closer to the friends I have there. It has shown me who the true friends are and who the “need u for…” are. It has also brought closure to some and brought me closer to others.

May 2008, I was living a life of comfort and fortune and now May 2009, I am living the life I was destined to live.

Closure

Earlier this week I wrote about “What to do with unanswered emails/calls” and asked my peeps for their input. I got quite a number of “forget his a$$”, as well as some great advice but the one that topped it all was “Sometimes you just don’t get closure from the other person”. This was the best advice I’ve received this year and definitely on my top list. All of my relationships have had closure; some were good while others not so good, some I initiated and others I was the recipient.

This “thing” (just can’t call it a relationship because it wasn’t) was very persistent in keeping me in his life. Even went so far as to say, I want your friendship in my life and of course I was idiot and believed him. I hid my feelings just so that I can hang around him. Whenever he needed me, I would make time out of my busy schedule to console him and give him advice. I tricked myself to believe this was just a friendship, when in fact my heart was on a very different page.

And now it’s been one year, I’ve been out of the country for months now and have thought about which friendships matter to me. He was on top of my list. After countless emails and a voicemail, I have now come to realize that he has moved on. What I did to deserve this, I am still unclear. But whatever it was, no one deserves the silent treatment. And so I’m FINALLY taking the advice some friends have voiced from the beginning (yes KG, u were one of them) and cutting him out of my life.

Closure would have been ideal because it would mean friendship is a possibility (after x months of course) in the future. But as I went through my aim/gmail settings and created filters where I would never see a letter from him, I have come to terms that this “thing” has no future. My biggest fear was that I would run into him in some random street in NYC (because Karma works that way for me), but now that I’m preparing to leave the US (to a country far-far away) on a 1yr contract, my fears have begun to diminish. Yes I’m still going to NYC for a quick visit in June and yes I’ll be staying in the same area (the Bronx) and yes we’ll probably end up at the same bar, but my fears are gone.

This topic has its irony because this guy I’m dating in Mexico is also going through a breakup and I’m here giving him advice to cut him out. I tell him, friendship will come but you need time apart from him. If only I could follow my own advice.

Mexico City Earthquake - May 22

Just filmed this for CNN and well let's just say I've gotten emails from Seattle to Miami that they saw me on CNN. This just doesn't get old!

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-261768

What do you do with unanswered emails/calls

So I'm struggling with a "friend" of mine that lives in NYC and wanted to see if anyone had some insights.

Background: We dated briefly; he didn’t want to commit and just wanted a friendship. We had a great year of intense flirting, both having other relationships on the side but whenever we got together regardless of our dating status we would both be on cloud 9. At one point I thought he was my soul mate but alas that thought is slowly fading. I say slowly because I don’t want to let the feeling go but the fact that he continues to ignore my calls/emails is pushing me further away. In March, I wrote him an email asking if he had time to get coffee (during my 3 day NYC trip) and I never heard back from him.

Current situation: So every 1-2 months, I go on for days thinking about him. I don't know if that's him calling out for me or if I get bored and need something to obsess about. This happened 2 weeks ago, when I also purchased a 1-way ticket to NYC in hopes of finding a permanent job there. I naturally asked him if I could crash at his place for a bit (yes I know, not the smartest of my ideas) but also said if he can’t, I still wanted to grab coffee. Once again, I didn’t get a response and I would call him but I lost his number during one of my many many cell phone replacements. (Side note: please don’t ever let me borrow any electronic devices; we just don’t get along-LOL)

So now it’s been 2 weeks since I last emailed him, I even asked for his number and he has yet to reply. I have gone over many scenarios from:
1. He’s just not the type of friend that responds
2. He’ll just wait till I get to NYC to talk

But in the end a good friend of mine wrapped it up beautifully: He’s not worth it if he doesn’t pay you the same amount of attention! This not only goes for friendships but also for your potential lifetime partner. Please re-read that statement, it is just so simple and often overlooked but those words are powerful and can help you ease your mind/soul. Your time/thoughts/values are unique and should never be “changed” for ANYONE.

If that person can’t value you as much as you value yourself (here’s where folks with low self esteem get caught), then that person is just not worth your time. It’s hard to move on, trust me we are all victims of this, but we’ve got to believe someone out there exists that will give you the attention/love/time you deserve.

I would love to hear from my friends, let me know what you think.

My feelings for this boy: Yes I do know that I have unresolved feelings for this boy, but I was cool with just a friendship. I continued to email/call him because throughout the time we've known each other he repeatedly said, he wants me in his life (friendship). And I said of course, but it is clear to me that it's under his terms and just that. And that he is just a selfish MoFo and while some of his friends are cool with that, this HONDURICAN is not! I have high expectations of my friends and in return I give it my all. In life, u get 3 types of friends.#1. come and goes #2. stay for an occasion or 2 and #3. lifetime. As most know, #3 group is a very small group.
Alanys I truly wanted u to be in the third group but I guess you were always meant for #2.

Faith/Karma: As I wrote my "last" email to Alanys, letting him know that he got his wish and it would be my last email/call to him. (Let's keep in mind that I have no clue what I did to deserve no responses but I figured he's going through some personal stuff. ) I was aim'ing with Claire who knows faith/karma will try to intervene. See folks, this isn't the first I tried to get "rid" of Alanys but for some reason or another, he always finds his way back into my life/heart. The last time I tried to cut him out, we literally bumped into each other on a random side street in NYC (a city of millions and our paths had to cross) and Claire was there to witness (and she too was dumbfounded). But as I told Claire, enough is enough. FCUK faith/karma I am intervening here and cutting him out. I don't care anymore whether he is suppose to be in my life or not but I can't take the hurt anymore.

Oaxaca's first gay ceremony

It was an honor to have been invited to this very intimate and historical event. Check out my CNN report for videos/pics at:

English: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-260149

Espanol: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-260342

First 2 weeks in Mexico City

5 minutes of fame
Folks, if there were ever a poster for “Things happen for a reason”, I’ve gotta say that my face/life would be on that poster. I mean, 12 months ago, I was working at a major consulting firm and now my videos are on CNN and CNN en Espanol and every time I google’d my name, I find another country that quoted me! Seriously this is still surreal. I have received countless emails from family/friends/contacts saying, “So I was reading an article and saw your name! or I was watching TV and I saw you!”. While I know this is just my 5 minutes of fame, I am thoroughly enjoying it and this experience has served as a testament to the way I believe one should live their life “Just go with the flow, good/bad”. Some might not know this but my original travel ticket was to Honduras, but a last minute plea from my aunt made it change to Mexico City.

CNN Interview:http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/ireports/2009/04/28/dcl.irpt.mexico.city.flu.cnn

CNN TV segment: http://edition.cnn.com/video/?/video/ireports/2009/05/04/irpt.for.cnn.may2.pt.1.cnn

CNN Quote#1: http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/05/07/danger.travel/index.html

CNN Quote #2: http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/30/swine.flu/

CNN Quote #3: http://cnn.mlogic.mobi/cnn/archive/archive/detail/294174/2;jsessionid=AE780CDE854DF08C94DF20E9B63F9351.live23ib

New York Cares writes about me: http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/30/swine.flu/

Quoted in Spain: http://www.elcorreogallego.es/gente-y-comunicacion/ecg/primer-contagiado-fuera-espanol/idEdicion-2009-04-30/idNoticia-421875/

I have no clue what language this is: http://wiadomosci.onet.pl/1962361,441,item.html

Living Situation
I am currently renting out a room (w/ private bathroom) in an amazing part of México City, next to police station so I totally feel safe. Supermarket, 7-eleven (huge here), laundry, restaurants, museums are all within 1-2 blocks from my place. The metro is a 10 minute walk. I can walk to downtown and Zona Rosa (Mexico City gay district and tourist too). The room includes utilities, cleaning and a great environment! Total cost approx $180 A MONTH!!!

Great Quote
The lady that owns the apt is 71 years old and always gives me advice about life and the city. Her latest saying is one that made me laugh and is so true, “You want to make God laugh, tell him what you are planning on doing today”.

Nightlife and Dating Life
Even though México City’s nightlife recently opened, I have seen enough to say ME LIKEY LONG TIME. It’s your typical city of 22million and you’re going to run into a bar/club where the snob factor is absurd. But when I go to a bar/club, my #1 priority is music and they have great music! Ironically, much better than Rio de Janeiro. I went out this past Friday and Saturday night and I have to admit, the crowd was extremely diverse. I was expecting most to look Indian but it just wasn’t the case. I was left in total aw.

As for my dating life, it never ceases to amaze me that no matter where I am in the world. I always meet someone that is unavailable (I’ll just leave it at that). But my dating life has never been busy, again unlike when I was living in Brazil. In Brazil, I had trouble dating because I looked like a native and other native were in search for exotic (aka Caucasian). In Mexico, I signed up for a gay dating site (one that I was a member of back in 2000 but quit when I moved to NYC-just don’t need it in NYC). So as soon as I signed up, I have had nonstop inquiries.

I just went on a date last night and unfortunately he just got out of a 2yr LTR and is only looking for “friends”. Truth be told, if I find Mr. Right I have no problem with moving my life to Mexico City. I am at the point of my life where being with the man I love is my number one priority, everything else can be “allocated”. So whether he’s in Mexico City, Miami, NYC… I am ready to settle.

Volunteering

So what I am doing in Mexico, besides living life and dating. Well, I came here to work on the National Campaign against Homophobia. This campaign is important to me because I plan to use what I learn and get involved with other countries’ campaign, specifically CUBA! Yes, for those followers my love for Cuba will never end and even if I don’t end up with a Cuban man, I still have love for that country.

I am currently volunteering for the HQ of this campaign and how did I get this contact, NETWORKING NETWORKING NETWORKING!! I have stressed this on previous blogs but this will serve as another testament on how important it is to effective network. Because of my volunteering in Brazil, I got an in on this NGO in Mexico. I will describe what occurred so you can see why I feel blessed (and why I decided to not leave Mexico during the H1N1 epidemic”.

As soon as I got back from Brazil, I emailed one of the executive directors of the NGO (aka nonprofit) in Brazil. I asked him that I overheard Mexico’s campaign were looking volunteers and if he could direct me to the right person. He provided it within minutes and I sent a “cold call” email to the executive director. He wanted to know what specifically I was requesting from the NGO. I told him very simply, not looking for $ just a learning experience. He said, come on over. I booked my flight and he said someone will be at the airport to pick me up. I was certainly not expecting that but was grateful. The office assistant came with another coworker and they took me to the hostel I was staying at (while I secured permanent housing). They later took me out to dinner and walked me back to my hostel, I was like – this is so nice of both of you. I totally got the red carpet from perfect strangers (sorta).

On the first day of work, it was slow because everyone was dealing with the swine-flu “crisis” but I got to speak with the executive director candidly. I told him I come from a corporate consulting job and I came here to learn. No task was too big or small. Then he basically opened his rolodex and said, what state do you want to visit? I was like :-O He basically said that wherever I want to go he has contacts and I can volunteer there and visit at the same time. I just met this guy but because of who I knew, he rolled out the “red carpet”.

This was one of the biggest reasons why I decided to stay and not leave when the hundreds/thousands of tourists were flocking out of Mexico during H1N1 epidemic.

First homophobic experience in Mexico
Once again, I just don’t know how I get myself into these situations. So I checked into a hostel for my first 5 days in Mexico City and on the second day I decided to take a day trip with other hostels patrons. I met 2 Mexicans that were staying in the same hotel, one from US and other from nearby state. They were apparently online friends for the past year and finally got to meet each other. Both male and straight. Of course when they asked me what I was doing here, I mentioned the anti-homophobic campaign and I “automatically” came “out” but they were cool with it. After 2 days of hanging out with both of them, I had my suspicions but didn’t feel like I needed to voice them out because they both knew I was gay. And on the third day, I caught them making out. They didn’t know I saw them and they never “came out” to me. It was actually the last day I was at the hostel and we had lunch before I moved to my new apt. Instead of inviting them to hang afterwards, I said you two need alone time to “catch up” and of course they never got it. I totally understand where one of them is coming from because he’s from a smaller state and homosexuality is just not tolerated. I’m sure he’s starting or just experimenting with it and doesn’t know how to express himself to me. But the other dude from EEUU is one that I had issues with because he’s from a big city and knows better. That’s what I thought at least. Goes to show you that no matter where you are, homophobia exists and I am proud/honored to be a part of an international movement. May 17th, 2009 is International Day against Homophobia.

Next..
What’s next, well events in the capital city was pushed back a week to 5/20-5/22 so I’m headed to Oaxaca, Mexico (Mexico’s second poorest state) for their campaign against homophobia. Not sure what to expect but one this if for sure, I’ll be covering it LIVE! LOL, stay tuned…

Site for future CNN reports

Hi folks, so I'm going to stay away from posting all the reports I post on CNN. From now on, you can go to my profile page and view at your leisure.
http://www.ireport.com/people/HonduRican

Thanks again to those friends that have sent your warm thoughts/prayers. I am (to-date) good in health, a little bored but I like many mexican citizens are anxiously waiting for May 6. When life as we once knew it, WILL RESUME!!